Is this Love?

Why does my Heart ache For some Twin Flame Some made up fantasy That came up into my reality You know I always wondered what it would feel like To fall madly Deeply And uncontrollably In love With a being I never truly believed it was possible I'm not sure I still do I mean I met someone 2 years ago Right when things Started to make sense They became harder to understand They became quiet Almost silent Almost like Like a dream A reality that I don't think actually ever happened So I decided to Do exactly what any normal person would do Because if it Wasn't real It wouldn't hurt If I slept with anyone else while he was avoiding me I mean I never told him But it was always known Right? Like I'm young And dumb And born during the summer So I guess that makes me a dumb bitch But as much as I feel dumb I feel numb I feel hurt Like because I sleep with so many others You think it's okay to play with my feelings By beckoning me over Of course I answered the call Assuming you were no longer with her The woman you met After you let me leave But look Now I'm back After about 7 months of being away Living out East And thinking of you each morning and each night of every day I mean We continued to talk once in awhile And after she popped up in the conversation I thought Good He's being loved Thank you creator All I want to do is love him But I could only imagine And now he has someone Good Fast forward to the call And than finally Yet once I asked about her You admit So casually That you're in an open relationship AND And That it was HER idea I mean Nice Yes play another game Please Blame her I don't care for it I know the truth I know I should have been more mad But I was still happy I had imagined what it would be like What it would feel like To be in your presence again And it was exactly how I thought it would be Magical The feeling was still there But how could I be so happy for someone who wasn't with me? Idk wth I still chose to be happy for you And happy that there was an opening I wasn't going to miss my chance to make you miss me But you still did not choose To leave her So I stopped 2 months later or so Stopped whatever was beginning To manifest I think she felt it too This energy between us Whatever the fuck this is It's there And it's suffocating me And it's upsetting the both of us Her and I I mean She must have thought it through after realizing there was an actual threat So I did what I thought was best I stopped chasing you And now I get triggered Every time I watch a romance Hell Even a fucking rom com I fucking cry I ball I fucking ball Because I know I know the feeling The feeling of being in total bliss When you think you have found A blessing In complete darkness Where you are the light And you stumble upon Another along your path With the exact same light And you think Huh Cool Than your light begins to burn Brighter and brighter Without your control Like someone turned up the heat Without your permission Like what the hell Why am I suddenly sweating so much? Did someone turn up the heat? But you say you're fine Weird I mean I'm only looking deeply into your dark brown eyes But only because I feel like I recognize you Somehow In some way I feel like I know you Fuck I sound crazy I guess now I understand why some Can become So obsessed With wanting to be in someone's presence What the fuck Is this love? Please I don't want this to be This fucking hurts